Monday, June 6, 2011

Rajinikanth Facts

Rajinikanth
Chuck Norris can easily be called the Rajinikanth of Hollywood. Around 2005 there was this internet phenomenon where people started circulating Chuck Norris Facts which describes the powers and achievements of the man. I made a list modifying a few of them some time after that to be about Rajinikanth. I sent it as a forwarded email and was gratified when I got them back a few months later from someone else. I am sharing them with you. Can you think about any other facts?

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajinikanth has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth counted to infinity – twice.
When Rajinikanth does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Rajinikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Rajinikanth’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
Rajinikanth does not get frostbite. Rajinikanth bites frost.
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Padayappa on Satellite TV
There are no races, only countries of people Rajinikanth has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Rajinikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Rajinikanth doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Rajinikanth can divide by zero.
Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajinikanth turnaround kick.
When taking the GRE or CAT write “Rajinikanth” for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Rajinikanth invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
In the beginning there was nothing…then Rajinikanth kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
Rajinikanth has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikanth”
Rajinikanth ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
If you Google search “Rajinikanth getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
Rajinikanth doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
It takes Rajinikanth 20 minutes to watch a three hour movie.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
Rajinikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted Rajinikanth to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Thousands of years ago Rajinikanth came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Rajinikanth’s computer. Rajinikanth is always in control.
Rajinikanth can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Rajinikanth has 72… and they’re all poisonous.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth knows where Sukumarakkurupp is.
There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth can judge a book by its cover.

No comments:

Post a Comment